Dear Ethan

Dear Ethan,

I took you to the park today. When I snuggled you down for your nap just now, your hair smelled like sunshine.

I love to see you happy. 

Love,
Mama

Hello 2013

2011 was an amazing year. I felt an incredible amount of self worth. So many beautiful experiences. It was easy to feel I was doing a good job. I took good care of myself while pregnant, I had a beautiful, happy baby, I simply had to love him and breastfeed him and read to him and take him on walks and keep him clean and healthy and safe and feel like I was doing a great job.

2012 more variables were introduced. I had to start feeding him from sources other than (well, in addition to) the breast. I had to baby proof. I had to figure out how to get anything done with an attached baby, and later, an active and curious toddler. I had to begin principles of discipline. And so on and so forth.

As a result, it was harder to measure how well I was doing, and I went a little cray cray. I was convinced that everything I did or didn't do would give him cancer or ADHD. Or at the very least, make him developmentally behind, or simply unhappy as a person. I did not feel that same amount of incredible confidence I felt in 2011. I felt neurotic. I worried myself sick. I made myself miserable much of the time.

Here's to 2013 being a whole lot chiller than that madness.

And to kick the chillness off, I'm feeding my 17 month old 8 layer dip for breakfast. Hey, it has all the food groups. Even fruit, since tomato is technically a fruit. I guess it doesn't have grains. Welp! I'll have to add chips then. :-)

Hello 2013. I welcome you gladly.